Anyone have Obama's cell phone number?

*Since Evictor has been busy as of late, I figured I'd step in with some political commentary. Enjoy.
-My mom is an accountant and my dad works with military pay systems
-I've clearly been paying attention my whole life to what they do and how they do it
-I just graduated college and according to most of the cards I got I'm a pretty smart guy
-I also was pretty good at raising funds considering the tidy sum I collected in graduation gifts

With all these things in my favor, I should clearly put my name in for Secretary of the Treasury.

More importantly, why does this crap float better if my last name is Kennedy??

Based on reading this article. Or one much like it that I can't seem to find again.